She Drives Me Crazy
by sweetsheart
Summary: Sometimes he wonders whether or not she knows how she makes him feel. T for language and mild sexual themes. SteinxMarie.


**A/N: This is something I wrote in about twenty minutes, but it's Stein's POV, maybe a little OOC, but it's how I imagine Stein in his own head when he's not insane.**

The Blonde Deathscythe.

The Pulveriser.

The Eyepatch Lady.

Whatever the name, Marie Mjolnir drives me crazy.

Alright, that's a terrible way to put it. Not to mention a terrible pun considering my bouts of madness.

With those sorts of puns, you'd think I was a science teacher.

Wait…

Okay, I'll stop now.

Anyway.

She drives me crazy in _that _way. You know what I mean. If you don't know what I mean, well, that's probably a good thing. Because the feelings that she brings out in me aren't easy to get rid of. I've learnt something since Marie gave me her Wavelength of Redemption.

Emotion is a bitch.

Having this natural compulsion to have relationships with other human beings is the weirdest fucking thing. I've never had this sort of thing happen before.

Alright, that's a lie.

Ever since I've known Marie, I've known she was different. She made me feel… I don't know, _something._ That was more than anyone else. Well, except for my dissection compulsions regarding my wonderfully oblivious scythe… but that's another story.

But that's the thing about Marie. When I first met her, she was just another girl. Everyone starts Shibusen at about 11, 12, 13, you know, that awkward age where the word 'sex' still makes you giggle inanely and the opposite sex probably still has a highly contagious disease. Marie wasn't dissimilar to that. She went around with her little group, the short, blonde girl who wore an eyepatch for a reason none of us were able to discern. She started off like the rest of us. Awkward, pre-pubescent little kids who were going to the smartass class at a school run by a garish, flamboyant shinigami because we weren't like the other kids.

As the months went on, everyone started to go through the fantastically awkward stage where the boys voices changed (always at the most inconvenient of times) and the girls started getting snarky once a month. And then, the boys started noticing the girls and the girls started noticing the boys.

Well, the girls started noticing boys other than me, anyway.

Look at that. Franken Stein, the whiny, vengeful, loveless bastard.

Anyway.

Small creatures who couldn't run very fast were my company. Marie caught me a few times, dissecting them. She started off telling me to stop, but she gave up eventually and just learnt to live with it.

Marie didn't change much though; she was always a relatively short, lanky little thing, and, generally speaking, at that age, missed two quite important elements which were essential to getting a date with 99% of the male population of Shibusen. Spirit included.

But, for me, to be honest, that was when the feelings started. They're the weirdest fuckers, I swear, and I couldn't stop them. My stomach would knot up and I wouldn't be able to talk. Then, Spirit told me the most incomprehensible thing.

He told me that Amelia had told him that Colin had… alright, I can't remember the _exact_ chain of gossip, but pretty much, Spirit told me that he'd heard Marie liked me.

Well, that did wonders for my ability to even speak around her.

So, I'd stay silent around her, brushing her off and rarely speaking more than two words to her. And then I'd go home and tell myself what an idiot I was. That, I believe, is where my madness really began. They'd mistake my shyness for some problem and treat me like I had something wrong with me. I began to doubt humanity, and I… look, never mind. That's fixed… sort of… for now.

So, Marie came back, and I was pretty badly inflicted with the madness. But, the knots in my stomach and the inability to put together coherent sentences returned somewhat. Plus, it was hard not to notice her… well, _development _since we all last saw her. I mean, come on!

Put it this way, little Marie Mjolnir grew into her body.

Just saying.

Have you seen what she wears? Every self respecting person who is attracted to women in the least would have some sort of impure thought about that outfit. It leaves a torturous amount to the imagination, and the trick is _not_ to be caught staring. An art few have perfected, may I just say.

Then, we had the whole predicament with Medusa, the Kishin's reawakening and the spread of the madness, and I shut down. The noise inside my head was too much; I've very little memory of what actually happened in those months.

But then, Marie, the beacon of light, the angel that sits on your shoulder and tells you to do the right thing, came along, and she soothed it. She made the noise stop without destroying my very soul. And the feelings came back just like they did when I was a teenager.

She still lives with me, and I don't know how she feels about me anymore. She could just not like me; plain and simple. Or, she could just be a really evil, mean person who's not going to give up until I'm mush in her hands.

But, back to my main point; Marie Mjolnir drives me crazy. Her face, her hair, her body, her laugh, her smile, her voice… it's not even real. I can't even imagine dissecting her. I can't imagine tarring the obviously perfect specimen.

It'd be inhumane.

And that's coming from me.

But, the things she does around the house; she's got these quirks which just make her every ounce Marie Mjolnir.

It's like this. She always gets up about 20 minutes before I do, right? And she has a shower, every morning. And, every morning, after she's out of her shower, she'll stand in front of the mirror and sing. She'll take her hairbrush and sing for a good five minutes. She has been known to belt out a rather… shall we say… unique rendition of _Bohemian Rhapsody_ on special occasions, mind you.

Sometimes; and this is the main facet which makes me wonder whether she doesn't think I like her or she's just a torturous person; she'll walk around the house in her underwear.

She will, literally, have a conversation with me; half naked. And, I stand there, not knowing where the hell to look. Because she's shorter than me, if I look down at her face, it'll look like I'm staring at her boobs. So I'm really in no position to do anything but stare at the damn ceiling.

So, I'm in an awkward position.

And I've thought about her. You know… in _that_ way. Don't get me wrong, I feel bad about it. Yes, I'm capable of that now. Apparently.

It's because of her, and everything I do now seems to be for her.

Maybe it's a good thing. Maybe it isn't.

All I know is I'm caught up in it, in _her_, and I don't want it to stop.

The Blonde Deathscythe.

The Pulveriser.

The Eyepatch Lady.

Whatever the name, Marie Mjolnir drives me crazy.

And I love her for it.


End file.
